Reclaim Yourself
When I was dating my ex-husband, I began to see myself changing. I was hurting, but couldn’t get out because he was grooming me and conditioning me to accept abuse. I began to get piercings as a way to stand out (I really like how it looks) and as a way to say I am not alright. I ended up with twelve piercings.
Another reason was that it was painful, so it was a way to hurt myself. When my ex-husband and I separated (while dating) I kept them in, but they were very painful. Sleeping with a pillow was non-existent. When we got back together, he said that in his culture it was wrong and if I wanted to be with him, I needed to get rid of them. So I only kept two out of the twelve.
Later on, after we had been married, but were in the process of separation, I began piercing my ears again. This time it was not about pain and hurting myself, but instead it was about taking back my identity and expressing the new beginning I was walking into. I got the first ones on what was my ten-year anniversary. A week after my divorce, I got the rest done. I now have a total of eight for new beginnings. This time they don’t hurt and they always remind me of God’s promises to me.
Just a couple of months ago I was looking at myself in the mirror, and I was wondering why I had gotten the piercings placed the way I did. In that moment, God revealed to me that the numbers He had given to me since then (8= new beginnings, 5= God’s grace, favor, and goodness towards man, and 3= completeness), were all represented before I even knew about the last two numbers. It wasn’t until the following year where numbers five and three began to show up. Yet, right on my ears, were God’s details for what He would bring to light in the coming years.
As we begin to reclaim ourselves, we will begin to see the links between details from both the old and new and how they connect. I began to enjoy hobbies and gifts that I had given up. I started doing things that God had put on my heart long ago, things He was rebirthing inside of me. As I reclaimed my gifting, callings, and promises, God opened my eyes to my future, and hope for a better tomorrow seized me.
What things have you given up that God never wanted you to give up? What part of yourself is He wanting you to reclaim today?
Heavenly Father, reveal to us where we have put our callings, ministries, and gifts down when we weren’t supposed to. Show us how we are to reclaim it, what steps we are to take, and what details we have missed. Today we choose to reclaim all that satan has stolen, and no longer will we let him take it from us. We will walk in breakthrough and freedom, and will not let satan have any ground in our lives. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.